#12: a sort of savior
Happy New Year (belatedly).
Also: Merry Christmas, Seasons Greetings, and Happy Birthday Late and Early.
This is the 2nd time I've written this post. The first time it disappeared. It drifted away into the land of Missed Opportunity. Like Jimmy Fallon's missed opportunity to date Nicole Kidman.
2014 has been a real mind bender. I turned 40. I recorded an album. I wrote a book(let). Good sense says: Hey, how about a sandwich and a nap? But life keeps doing what it does. Currently it's rearranging. Life is rearranging in grand and significant ways. We're all okay here; but these are not times for the weakly constitutioned.
The upside of upheaval is that I've been hemorrhaging songs. If you haven't been to a show in a while, the next one you catch, you'll hear a crap ton of new stuff:
* A Little Life Left
* Queen of Everything
* I'm Okay
* The Great Divide
* Fly Away, Dorothy
...to name a few.
In a strange way, it's been reassuring. In the chaos, I've fallen back on a couple of mainstays: 1) the gym; and 2) music. Sweat it out and sing it out. Music has been a sort of savior. As someone who regularly wrestles with the Phony Complex ("I'm not a real musician. I'm not a real songwriter. I'm a big fakey faker, and it's only a matter of time before someone calls me out."), the fact that songwriting has been such an instinctual source of therapy is validating. Maybe it really is in me. Maybe I'm not such a big faker. (Although, if I could write a song without a G or E chord, I would feel a bit more authentic.)
At any rate, I've designs on you, 2015. I've got big, mad designs on you.
I'm currently looking for a full-time job. I'm still a full-time mom. I'm a smidge worried about what this is going to do to my creative schedule, but I've no intention of quitting music. I have too much stuff coming out to put a lid on it. I'd like to record before all the new stuff gets boring. And I trust that if it's meant to be, I'll find the way, or the way will find me. I think that's how things work.
Regardless: New Year, New Plans, High Five.