I couldn't bring myself to read my book or listen to my CD for a while. I know my limits. I know my habits of hyper-critical self-talk. I know that once that defeating loop starts, it's hard to stop. I knew not to listen or read until I could do so with the kindness of a friend. Last week felt like a good time to read the book.
When I clean, re-arrange furniture, or redecorate, I like to leave the room and then walk back in as if I've never been there. Reading my book felt a lot like that.
I got nearly to the end thinking, "Ok. This is okay. Yes. No big typos. Not perfect. I would have said that differently. I wish I could rewrite the 'Enemy' chapter. But yes. This is fine." And then...
"As a writer, I am about to confess something embarrassing: I misuse words all the time. All the time. I thought the word 'detrimental' meant, simply, important until I was 28 and my then-boyfriend used it (correctly) in a sentence. I thought 'nonplussed' meant confused..."
Irony, you winking bastard.
Well. Nonplussed DOES mean confused, Jelly Bean. That's not what I meant to write. What I meant to write was:
"...I thought 'nonplussed' meant unimpressed..."
Unimpressed. THAT was what I thought nonplussed meant.
I suppose this error is not a deal-breaker. But it is annoying. At least it falls into an appropriate paragraph (about my flounderings with the English language).
I fixed it in the file on my lulu.com account. That's where I'm self-publishing; and all future printings will be correct. But in the meantime, I have 200 books in a plastic bin under my desk waiting to be sold at shows and mailed to online patrons (where crickets live). I paid for those suckers, and I don't have the budget to scrap them and reorder.
My sales are light enough that I could just take a red pen, cross out the word "confused," and write "unimpressed" in the margin every time someone buys a book. I think that would be funny. But maybe not everyone would. Would you?
4. The book is not yet available on eReaders, but it will be. I sat down to make the e-version and the instructions made me implode. So, eventually... Once I can make it through the instructions without imploding, there will be an e-book version. (With the proper misuse of nonplussed.)